I wish

Like I said earlier, I have been itching to change some things in my wardrobe lately with the drop in temperatures we've been experiencing, but I have to be good and wear what I have. So I've resorted to some window shopping today, staring through the glass of the local Anthropologie store...

Lots of dresses and lots of polka dots, two of my loves. That polka dot blazer would be so comfortable and would add the perfect spice to a pair of jeans. The fit looks gorgeous, too. If I could, I would...

xoxo,
Tanya

It's been hard lately

I've been struggling lately with a lot of things that are going on in my life and in my mind, and I haven't felt like taking pictures or posting much on here. I don't really want to go into details, but I also don't know what to post about either. I haven't been picking up the camera much for weeks now, and I've been so uninspired to do much of anything with my days. I feel like I'm on cruise control, and keep waiting for this period to end, but it just keeps going on.

I've been spending a lot of time on the computer lately, reading blogs that I've neglected for a long, long time, trying to take my mind off things and get inspired again. I've been really melancholy and emotional lately, and I've been praying more and trying to stay close to God. He is the only thing that can help me when things get rough, and He knows what's in my heart without me having to say one word. He is my best friend. I've been listening to these 15-minute teachings by Zac Poonen titled 'Basic Christian Teachings,' and I'm loving it. His voice is really calm, too, and when I've had a long day I just want to sit down, pull my notebook out, turn on a lesson, and feed my soul. There are 72 lessons, and I'm only on the tenth one, but I like taking my time with it. I don't learn well by hearing, so if I take the time to take notes, and get things down on paper, I am 100% more likely to retain the information and remember it. I'm a very visual person, and I've always studied this way all through high school and college. Lots and lots of notes.

I got a burst of energy and determination last week, and decided to paint the breakfast area that's next to the kitchen white. I had most of the paint and primer and supplies, so I only had to spend a little bit of money and get to work. Those walls have been white in my mind for a long time now, so to see it in real life is pretty neat now! The ceiling is now half white and half tan because I need to finish the rest of the kitchen. I'm thinking today if I get to it, or tomorrow for sure. I talked to a painter who has been painting our neighbor's house inside and out, and asked him why the paint was bleeding into the cabinets even though I taped it off really well. He gave me a few pointers, which will make a huge difference, I think. I painted around only one small cabinet on purpose, so I could see the results before I did too much damage that I couldn't reverse. It's going to be lots of taping and covering up counters, cabinets, and floors, but at least the painting part will go fast because there are barely any walls to paint.

I've been wanting to get my hair cut and colored for so long now, and haven't been able to. I've been wanting to start scrapbooking again, and haven't been able to get my pictures printed. I've been itching to get some fall clothes and a cool pair of booties, and that's on the back burner right now. I want to work out again, but I need to get the DVDs I've been wanting in order to start (the gym is just not working for me these days). I haven't wanted to call up friends to see them, and it feels like I'm the only one doing the calling anyway. My throat has been hurting again, and last time it hurt, it took almost a year to get it to stop. I really don't want to go through that again. My back has been hurting a lot as well lately. I think a big reason I've been down lately is that it feels like everything that's in my head is not that way in my life right now, and I'm just frustrated by it all. I wish I could make it all happen, but it's out of my hands, and it's really, really frustrating. I'm leaning on God, and trying not to complain. (Forgive me for the whole last paragraph please. I just had to get some of it out.)

But...there are plenty of good things, too. My sugar diet is almost over, and I will be eating sugar in six days! I'm going to celebrate by baking these babies and eating as many of them as I want (sans filling), and then going out for a pumpkin spice latte stat. Then I'm going to start baking again, which is really therapeutic for me, and I haven't been able to do it because of this sugar thing I'm doing. So that will be good. The month is almost over, and the beginning of another month always feels like a clean slate to me. I'm having people over for dinner on Thursday, so I'm going to focus on getting ready for that. My little sister and her husband will also be in town this weekend. Also, I'm starting to love fall more and more with each passing year, so I'm really looking forward to the beautiful colors that are just around the corner, and sweater weather too. I hate the bare trees after it's all over, but I'll try not to think about it too much. :) And these kids of mine are growing with each passing day, and I get to be their mom. I get to teach them and be with them and see things through their eyes. Childhood is so magical, and I think about mine all the time.

I think today I'll go get those dishes washed, get some yummy food cooked, clean that bathroom I've been meaning to clean for weeks now (embarassing...), and sew a cloud pillow. Yup, I've been seeing cloud pillows all over the place lately, and I'm just itching to go make one. It may make be feel better, and I know as long as I keep my hands busy, this too shall pass...and I will be so happy when it does.

Just this morning I dropped the kids off at school, came home, and realized it's picture day (I was just telling the kids this morning "It's not today, it's on Thursday, I know better..."). Mila had dressed herself and I hadn't done anything with her hair, and Ben did his hair real quick before heading out the door too. I grabbed a hair clip and another top and sweater for Mila, drove back to school, found her on the playground, changed her in the car and made a little braid in her hair right before she walked into class. It is her first school picture, after all--I'm glad I went to the extra effort. :) Ben, however, is on his own. We'll see how they turn out...

xoxo,
Tanya

Early Saturday morning

 

It's so much fun to watch Ben's games because those boys really know what they're doing by now. Sometimes I get too nervous for them, even though I know it's only just a game. I have to remind myself to calm down and remember that it's not all about winning (though winning sure is nice). Ben's team hasn't won too many games this season, but they've been matched up against really hard teams with boys that are a head taller than them. Ben is becoming such a pro these days, learning all kinds of new moves and strategies, and working together with his teammates.

On this particular Saturday, we had to be at the field at 8:15am, and the drive there is 30-40 minutes. Yeah, it was an early Saturday for me. I left everyone else at home, packed all our things, stopped for a nice hot latte, and enjoyed a peaceful morning at the soccer field watching my son play. It was just what I needed--solitude, fresh air, and some entertainment thrown in.

xoxo,
Tanya

Mila is our newest soccer star

Mila had to miss her first game a couple weeks ago, so when she finally played, it was her teammates' second game and her first. I had heard they were pretty aggressive, but I was still shocked at how much they all wanted to get that ball in the goal!

I had forgotten how cute they are when they're little and trot around that tiny field just trying to connect their foot with the ball. The game basically consisted of a large mass of little girls running around after the ball, with a million feet kicking at the ball in every direction. That poor ball.

Mila was a star, with four goals for her team, though she had an emotional breakdown in the middle of it. Hmm...sounds familiar... :) I think she got too frustrated and hadn't realized the other team would be up in her face quite like that. She made it to the end, and told me she had taken my advice to have fun and not let things frustrate her. It also didn't help that we were late because I couldn't find the right field for the life of me!

They had their second game this last Saturday, and it was very different to watch. They had so much more control over their feet and the ball, and the girls didn't fall down half as many times as the previous game. Our team won again (but who's counting), and Mila killed it again. I knew once I'd let her start soccer, she was going to go at it with everything she has, and I was right. I'm excited to see her soccer skills in a few years.

xoxo,
Tanya

Instagramming

This past week was more of the same. I had the blues, and couldn't seem to shake them all week. I think I'm finally feeling better, but my goodness, that took a while! And like the week before, I just tried to survive the weekdays and had an amazing weekend at the end of it all.

I've been yearning for the word of God lately, whether it's reading the Bible, listening to an uplifting sermon on my phone, or studying the Bible with the help of a study guide or online sermon. So I've been getting up early and studying the Word, or dropping the kids off at school and taking advantage of the silence. It's been good for me.

Then Saturday rolled around, and I got up super early for Ben's soccer game, just me and him (I didn't want to wake the kids cause I thought they should get their sleep). I picked up a latte on the way, and enjoyed the fresh air (I DO NOT get enough of it lately) as I watched my big boy bring his best game. Later we watched Mila in her first soccer game, then headed downtown for pizza as a family. We stopped by the park, and realized the whole city was there for some fair, and the kids went crazy in the car, squealing and exclaiming. We spent some time there and ended it with a frozen yogurt stop, and the day was over. Boo. Sunday consisted of church, Costco, my parents' house for dinner, and a stop at the park again. Too bad it's over and now it's Monday again...

xoxo,
Tanya

Instagramming

I don't have much to show for last week, just these six pictures. It was a hard week for me. I was emotional a lot, and problems just kept weighing me down, to be honest. I tend to think about things too much, and I let problems become bigger in my head than they need to be. When things get like that, I like to take it day by day. Wake up, dress the kids, drive Olivia to school, then get Ben and Mila off to school, back home for my precious time alone, pick up Mila, pick up Olivia, run some errands, do homework with Ben when he gets home. Some days I get to dinner, some days I don't. And I've been leaving dishes in the sink every night, overflowing onto the countertops. I just run out of steam by the end of the day, and my to-do list is always longer than the day.

My weekend, however, was spectacular, and totally made up for the weekdays. I'm starting to really really look forward to the weekend. One thing is that B is home, and I feel like I can breathe a bit, like I have a helper at my side. He's my best friend, after all, and we talk and catch up and laugh together. It makes me feel like everything is as it should be. And I make sure to squeeze in as many back scratches as I can. :)

I watched my sister's son for her on Friday, and it was perfect timing, because he was driving her crazy that day! I expected him to keep me on my toes as well, but he was surprisingly good. Sometimes it just takes a change of scenery. I got to rent a movie that night and veg on the couch and NOT relax, since it was The Hunger Games. On Saturday we went to a wedding, during which B had to drive Ben to his soccer game 40 minutes away and come back to the reception. Thank goodness he asked the coach to bring Ben back home after the game so we wouldn't have to go again to get him! When Ben was home, we rushed off to my kids' cousin's second birthday party, complete with a fully loaded pinata. It looked like I had ten kids by the amount of candy they came home with! We capped off the day with a soak in the hot tub with friends. It was pretty blissful. The kids were shipped off to Grandma's for the night, so I even got a break from the bedtime routine for a day. On Sunday I got to attend a baby shower for a friend who's having her third baby boy soon. It's always nice catching up with people you don't always see, not to mention eat delicious food . I definitely enjoyed it, considering I was one of the last to leave.

What a bummer when Monday rolls around...

xoxo,
Tanya

Ship & Shape

Ship & Shape is a fairly new shop, around for less than a year, and I have to say, they are on fire! Every time I stop by, I am drawn in by the beautiful images and I am amazed at the products. I'll basically take one of each, please! I love that all the offerings are handmade and one-of-a-kind, made in small batches by individual artists, and they get it right every time! I would add so many items to my wish list, but I'm currently loving these...

No. 1 Summer paint palette necklace / No. 2 Ribbon anklet / No. 3 Leather crescent earrings / No. 4 Inverse triangle necklace

They don't only sell jewelry, but these are the items I've been coveting the most. I'll be looking forward to their next collection, that's for sure!

xoxo,
Tanya

This is where I've been the last week...

Where have I been the last week or so? Catching up on this amazing blog. Yup, hours and hours. And I had perfect timing, too, because it looks like Ashley Ann and Chris just brought their adopted daughter home from China this week!

Ashley Ann is an inspiration in a lot of ways, but I probably marvel most at how much she fits into her days. Four kids (now five) and time for crafts, like, every other day? Sewing three pillows up at once?! Redecorating a whole room in a day? Who heard of such things? And she still has time for being an amazing, caring mom and wife as well. Not to mention the way she leads her kids to God not with words, but by example. Can I get some of whatever she's having? ;)

I have been a reader of Ashley Ann's blog for several years now, but I had to scale back on my computer time earlier this year, and I stopped reading. I was just not accomplishing the things I wanted to accomplish in my own life, and something had to give. It's funny, though, how when you read a blog for a while, you wonder every once in a while what that person is up to, and how much their kids have grown. It's like you know them in a way, and so I thought about this family every once in a while.

When I started reading again last weekend, I realized I had picked the perfect time to join back in, because Ashley Ann and her husband were in China at the time meeting their daughter and getting ready to come back home with her. And what an amazing story they have! Once I started reading, I couldn't stop, and well...at least I'm done? Ha ha--from March to September in a week!

All photos from Under the Sycamore blog.

I have been captivated by this little girl, to say the least, and I am so excited to get to be on this journey with Ashley Ann, so to speak, as they bring this little child into their lives and make her their own. I hope to be on a similar journey someday, so their story has sooo touched my heart.  Oh, and her mad photography skills don't hurt, either.

xoxo,
Tanya

Etsy update

I've dusted off my Etsy shop, and got some new things in there today. All vintage kids' clothes, some perfect for Christmas, and some summer things too. I figure I might as well get everything I have up for sale, even though next summer is still far away. If I've learned anything over the years, then I know that summer'll be here before we know it!

xoxo,
Tanya

Beach jars

I put these jars together recently, and felt so accomplished when I was done! It was pretty gratifying, if I do say so myself. B and I brought some things back for the kids from our trip to Hawaii this summer, such as coral from the beach behind our condo, black sand from our trip to Hana, black lava rocks from the black sand beach, and some shells we found at the store.

The plan was to find some cool jars and make a jar with a little bit of everything for each child to keep in their room. I never found those jars, and got tired of waiting, so I grabbed what I had and got to work. Now they each have a sentimental item in their room that means a lot to me and now to them.

xoxo,
Tanya