some thoughts in the middle of the night

Sunday, November 4, 2012

Took this at the park the other day--a leaf suspended from a spider's web over our heads.

The clock says 4:27 (AM!!) and I'm wide awake, sitting on the couch with my laptop, catching up on blogs I've neglected for too long. I was getting really excited the last three days or so that my nausea is slowly fading, but right now, it's on full force and I feel like I may have to run to the toilet any minute. No, not a good situation. I thought I'd get some thoughts and things swirling in my head out while I'm here and while I'm awake. We get an extra hour today with Daylight Savings Time ending and all, but for every hour I can't sleep, I feel like I'm losing one from tomorrow because I'll be sleeping it off then.  I'll be lucky if I make it to church.

Some random things on my mind lately:

I am extremely sensitive to smell when I'm pregnant, and everything makes me sick these days. My fingers smell sooo bad right now. Every time they come close to my face, I want to gag. I tried out a new slow cooker recipe called salsa verde pork tacos and the smell made me gag all day long as the pork was cooking for 8 hours. Then I couldn't bring myself to add the cilantro and onion in the end and shred the pork up. I just didn't even want to open the lid. So now it sits in the fridge unfinished and the smell on my fingers will. not. go. away.

Okay, just got back from puking. I was right.

Olivia broke a little handmade bowl I had on my dresser today. She feels so bad when she does something she knows she shouldn't have, but it drives me crazy that she always hides it. I end up finding evidence way later. Oh, and she tries to lie about it every time as well, even though I have been teaching her from day one that I much prefer the truth to any lie, and I will punish for lying versus telling the truth and apologizing. I was walking by and my peripheral vision caught sight of one large shard of the bowl sitting on the dresser where the bowl used to stand. I got so confused, looked down, and only found a few more pieces. I immediately found Olivia, she confessed, but told me she didn't touch any of the broken pieces. I finally opened my sock drawer to find most of the bowl all over my socks and tights in lots of little pieces. Wonderful.

It's going to be so fun finding out whether we're having a boy or a girl. I'm planning to do the ultrasound around 20 weeks, however, not 16, because the earlier you do ultrasounds the more they affect the baby. I'm eager to know but I'm being patient too. I have a tradition of going out the day I find out the sex and buying something for the baby in the right colors. It's my way of kicking off the preparations.

B brought home the best smoked fish I've probably ever had today. It was such a nice surprise when I was hungry but nothing sounded good, and I kept leaving the kitchen hungry all day long, nibbling on things here and there. We had it last week and ate the whole fish between the two of us, and he got two more from his uncle today, who smokes them himself. Mm mm mm. The weirdest thing is how pregnancy makes everything smell bad, and taste bad too. And I never know if a certain food will hit the spot or make me feel sick until I'm actually smelling it or eating it. It's like I've taken on someone else's body and don't experience things the same anymore. I just had some Doritos, for example, and they taste Like my taste buds are picking up different ingredients in there that they weren't getting before. It sounds weird, I know, but it IS weird--really weird--to experience. One thing is constant--if there are onions in it, I'm not going near it. That is the fastest way to bring on the nausea.

I think my belly has doubled in size this week, I'm not even joking. I wish I was. I was hoping to avoid maternity clothes for most of the pregnancy, but it doesn't seem to be going in that direction. My belly is always gigantic.

My pelvis has been hurting again lately, which is a bummer because it was doing so well for so long, even after I stopped going to physical therapy (long story; for some other time). I am happy to say I'm finally doing something about it, and started doing all my at-home exercises for my back and pelvis this week. I just need to get a new exercise ball so I can do more of the pelvis ones (since my kids treated my last one like a toy and popped it).

I swear I can feel the baby moving, but I think it's all in my head and that it's way too early for that. It's probably just gas. :)

I took Mila to a friend's house for a playdate this week, and completely lost track of time chatting with her mom, until I glanced at my watch, and it had been over two hours and Ben was about to come home from school. I swear my mouth didn't shut the whole time. Yes, I realize I don't have enough people to chat with in my life.

I cannot bring myself to do any yardwork lately. I've been avoiding it like the plague. It's getting colder and colder, and I need to get my butt in gear and clean up the yard before the real cold sets in.

Ben had his last soccer game of the season today, and I'm pretty happy about it. No more rushing to soccer on the weekdays and getting up super early on Saturdays for the games (which I normally like to reserve for sleeping in). It'd be so much funner if B and I got to go together, but one of us stays home with the girls, especially since most of Ben's games this year started at 8:30 or 9. Which isn't very fun with the joy of morning sickness thrown in.

I'm wishing I could take off somewhere right now, to go anywhere but here. Well, Portland is really calling my name right now, but a trip of any kind is completely out of the picture right now. Bummer.

Most of that was rants/raves about pregnancy, though I didn't set out for it to be that way. Looks like it's all that's on my mind these days...



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