Love for Connecticut

For those who lost loved ones in the shooting in Connecticut this past Friday, especially those families that lost their little boy or girl--I don't know how they can go on and get through this Christmas season without their precious child. It's heartbreaking. I can imagine all the unopened gifts those families will have, all the memories they were counting on making with their children gone forever. How do you ever come back from losing a child? How do you find happiness again?

I didn't hear about the shooting until very late Friday night, when I took a break on the couch to check my Instagram feed. I kept seeing the #loveforct hashtag, figured out it stood for Connecticut, and realized after a while that I better turn the TV on. What I saw was devastating. I sat there all alone and just bawled and bawled, with my own kids safely in their beds, dreaming the night away. My mind instantly flashed to that morning to the time the shooting happened, how I would have been in the shower at the time if it had been my kids' school.

It shook me that I was so oblivious all day long, and just thought about how I had been laser-focused all day on getting ready for that Christmas banquet I was planning and completely ignored my kids. What if that had been their last day on earth? How I would have regretted not spending time with them! I know that I really shouldn't put a guilt trip on myself about it, but I was just so shocked by the day's events, so baffled by the incredible evil that took place there that day. Those parents took their kids to school and never dreamed they would never see them alive again.

Tonight I finally let myself see the faces of all the victims, and bawled as I read about each child and looked at each face. I pray God will help each one of those families get through this and heal their broken hearts. I am so thankful for my family and for the little one we will meet in five short months. He has really given me so much. I get to spend Christmas with my children and my husband in seven short days, and I get to love them, guide them, lead them by example, and show them love as long as I am able, and I will never take that for granted. I am blessed.

And tomorrow, we find out the sex of the baby! I am beyond excited.

xoxo,
Tanya